kaiyun体育app下载官网 李翊云《万物当然滋长》第三章: 身处平川【中语】
发布日期：2026-05-16 01:45 点击次数：83
对于作者
李翊云（Yiyun Li），好意思籍华侨作者，毕业于北京大学，后获爱荷华大学创意写稿硕士学位，现任普林斯顿大学教悔。她的回忆录 《当然万物仅仅滋长》 （英文名 Things in Nature Merely Grow）于2025年出书，记载了其两名犬子先后采选自尽离世的履历。该书凭借克制而倔强的笔触直面丧子之痛，磋商归天、记念与悲催中生命的延续，取得2026年普利策回忆录/自传奖。
后台私信枢纽词“ 当然万物 ”获取本书
译文为原创，仅供个东说念主学习使用
Things in Nature Merely Grow
万物当然滋长
By Yiyun Li
李翊云《万物当然滋长》第一章【中语】
李翊云《万物当然滋长》第二章：事实问题【中语】
III Found in an Abyss
第三章 身处平川
(And a Disclaimer for Those Who Are Not the Right Readers)
（以及写给非打算读者的一则免责声明）
詹姆斯身后几周，我写信给简——一位作念戏剧责任的共事——说：“咱们的生涯似乎投入了莎士比亚戏剧或希腊悲催的范围。”她复兴说念：“你的失去照实巨大而精好意思莫测地重荷；我的任何说话齐无法企及。”
联系词生涯仍然要不息，不管身处悲催之内、悲催除外，如故不顾悲催。写这本书，既是将我我方与阿谁目生的范围辨别开来，同期亦然将我方永恒地安顿在阿谁范围里。
一个东说念主不错有热诚地书写事实，也不错不热诚用事地书写感受，但绝不应逃避事实。是以此刻我立于一个可怖之地，一丝有父母生涯在这么的场所（至少在现代配景下，当生涯未被天灾东说念主祸摧毁时）。我决定以一条培植的事实行动这本书的起初：我身处平川。
咱们——我丈夫和我——身处平川。但在这本书里，我会尽可能少提他的那一部分。他是惟一另一个履历了这些失去的东说念主；东说念主们用“无法设想”或“不成清醒”这类形色词来刻画这些失去。但我丈夫是一个提神狡饰的东说念主，我深信玛丽安·摩尔的诗句：“最深的热诚老是在千里默中知道；/ 不是在千里默中，而是在克制中。”
庄闲和游戏官方网站那么，事实如下：我身处平川。我不是误入平川。我不是跌入平川。我不是被别东说念主玷辱或残害、被扔进平川。而是，窘态其妙地、令东说念主惊险地，我即是身处平川。
我莫得迷失。迷失的嗅觉——一种近乎无望的迷失感——在文森特身后曾片霎出现过。我谨记送詹姆斯到学校后，在铅灰色的太空下开车，心想咱们无处可去。
但那句“无处可去”，就像文森特身后那句“再也莫得东说念主能让我感到惊喜”相通，是一种夸张的抒发——在可怜中这种夸张是不成幸免的：未经注目的感受以想想的形态呈现出来，以致以事实的形态呈现出来。
这一次我相等注意，不把感受错当成想想或事实。我的感受：恐惧，但并不迷失。我的想想：我在平川中被找到了。
有些东说念主（尤其在中国）对我挑剔我方生涯中的归天时使用“死”这个字大惊小怪，认为这个用词华纳等同于冷落冷凌弃或不怀好意。
照实有一些委婉语不错使用。“委婉语”这个词源于希腊语 euphēmismós，意旨道理是用祯祥的词替换不祯祥的词，它可能意味着明锐，但也可能意味着恇怯。恰是后者（而非前者）让东说念主产生了审查和妖怪化的冲动。
归天，尤其是自尽，无法被软化或庇荫。文森特身后，kaiyun体育app下载官网有几位母亲问我，她们可否告诉我方的孩子——文森特的同龄东说念主——说他是死于事故。她们应承对我方的孩子说谎，即便真相详情和会过一又友们传到那些孩子耳朵里——这让我困惑不明。我向那些母亲发挥，她们的建议在我看来既是对她们我方孩子的不尊重，亦然对文森特记念的亵渎。不以其本名招呼事实，可能是落拓与不公的起初。
詹姆斯身后几天，我半开打趣地跟我的一又友伊丽莎白说，我要写一册对于“绝对继承”的自助书。那技艺，绝对继承维持着我。“为什么”“如何会”“缘何故”之类的问题，简略“若是……会若何”的幻想——任何灾难之后，这些问题当然会出现，世界杯滚球app中国官方下载文森特身后亦然如斯。但这一次，我认为那些问题——它们其实是一系列对事实的反驳——绝不消处；以致，是对詹姆斯实质的冒犯。
那些问题很容易滑入“其他可能性”的范围。写演义时，东说念主们会处理其他可能性。“E. M. 福斯特所说的‘扁平’东说念主物根底莫得其他可能性”——伊丽莎白·鲍恩在她对于演义写稿的著述中如是说。但在生涯中，归天不附带任何其他可能性。
我对于处境惟一能把捏的——不管那时如故现时——即是继承：詹姆斯和文森特相通，采选了归天，而詹姆斯尤其采选了与文森特交流的死法。实验不错用许多方式传达，但最佳用最直白的说话说出。
伊丽莎白听完我提议的自助书后回答说，大无数东说念主还没读完第一页就会把书扔到房间对面。东说念主们不会想读一册对于绝对继承的书，伊丽莎白说；他们应承不设计我方处于需要施行绝对继承的境地。
是以，亲爱的读者：若是一个母亲使用“死”或“归天”这些词冒犯了你的明锐（一位中国记者在一篇对于我的特写中提到我的用词华纳，引起了中国读者的非议）；若是你认为“爱”是能让一切齐好起来的魔法词（就像我的一位读者那样，她在一次新书巡讲中迎面降低我，问我若是依然爱过我的孩子，如何还能试图自尽）；若是你认为我莫得把我方的东说念主生交到你的天主慈悲的手中是一个错误（正如我的一位前一又友所深信的，他在文森特身后告诉我，文森特是被天主派来又被天主带走，是以我根底莫得事理感到太悲伤）；若是你认为自尽是一个过于压抑的主题；若是生涯中一切无法贬责之事仍将无法贬责这一事实让你认为过于悲凉；若是你但愿“绝对继承”对你来说历久是一个目生的见解——那么现时恰是你罢手阅读的好时机。
这本书关乎生涯的极点处境，关乎事实与逻辑，写自一个莫得父母激上路处、极其可悲的平川。这本书既不会建议你可能但愿我建议的问题，也不会提供你可能盼愿这本书提供的目田。
我一直拒却使用“悲悼”这个词，也很少使用“诅咒”这个词——原因我之后会发挥。这不是一册对于悲悼或诅咒的书。
这本书不会提供一个整洁的叙事曲线——那可能是一些读者所渴慕的：从熬煎走向告捷，从不明走向新获的洞见与聪惠，从可怜走向卓著。这本书不会提供称心感、启迪和转移那种纵情的愉悦。
我以前曾援用蒙田的话：“形而上学即是学习如何归天。”而我现时知说念还有其他的变体：
形而上学即是学习与归天共处。
形而上学即是学习与那些归天共处，直到我方故去。
形而上学是身处平川时能作念之事——不是迷失，而是被找到。 ◾
后台私信枢纽词“ 当然万物 ”获取本书
A few weeks after James died， I wrote to Jane， a colleague who works in theater: “Our life seems to have entered the realm of Shakespearean dramas or Greek tragedies.” And she replied: “Your losses are indeed epic and unfathomably hard; no language of mine can meet that.”
And yet life is still to be lived， inside tragedies， outside tragedies， and despite tragedies. Writing this book is a way to separate myself from that strange realm while simultaneously settling myself permanently into that realm.
One can write about facts feelingly， one can write about feelings matter-of-factly， but one should never evade facts. So here I am， in a dire place， which few parents live in (at least in a contemporary setting， where life is not ravished by man-made or natural disasters). I’ve decided to write this book starting with a single established fact: I am in an abyss.
We—my husband and I—are in an abyss. But I shall keep his part to a minimum in this book. He is the only other person who has experienced these losses; losses for which people use the adjectives “unimaginable” or “unfathomable” to describe them. But my husband is a private person， and I believe in Marianne Moore’s words: “The deepest feeling always shows itself in silence; / not in silence， but restraint.”
So， here’s the fact: I am in an abyss. I did not stray into the abyss. I did not fall into the abyss. I was not bullied or persecuted by others and thrown into the abyss. Rather， inexplicably and stunningly， I simply am in an abyss.
I am not lost. The feeling of being lost—a disorientation akin to despair—occurred briefly after Vincent died. I remember， after dropping off James at school， driving under a leaden sky， thinking that there was nowhere for us to go.
But that thought of having nowhere to go， just as the statement that no one would surprise me after Vincent died， was an expression of hyperbole， which is unavoidable in anguish: feelings， unexamined， present themselves as thoughts; even， facts.
This time I have been careful not to mistake feelings as thoughts or facts. My feelings: stunned， but not lost. My thought: I am found in an abyss.
Some people (especially in China) make a fuss about my using the word “die” when I talk about the deaths in my life， equating this linguistic decision to coldheartedness or evil.
Indeed there are euphemisms one could use. The word “euphemism，” coming from Greek euphēmismósand meaning the substitution of an auspicious word for an inauspicious one， may imply sensitivity， but it may also imply cowardice. It is the latter， rather than the former， that puts people in the mood to censor and demonize.
Death， particularly suicide， cannot be softened or sugarcoated. After Vincent died， a couple of mothers asked me if they could tell their children—Vincent’s peers—that he had died in an accident. That they preferred to lie to their children， even though the truth would surely reach those children through their friends， baffled me. I explained to the mothers that their proposal seemed to me a disrespect of their own children and a violation of Vincent’s memory. Not calling a fact by its name can be the beginning of cruelty and injustice.
A few days after James’s death， I told my friend Elizabeth， half-jokingly， that I would write a self-help book about radical acceptance. Radical acceptance was what sustained me then. The questions of whys and hows and wherefores or the wishful thinking of what-ifs: these questions naturally arise after any catastrophe， as they did after Vincent’s death. But this time it feels to me that those questions， which function as a series of counterarguments against a fact， are useless; even， a violation of James’s essence.
Those questions easily slip into the realm of alternatives. In writing fiction， one works with alternatives. “What E. M. Forster has called the ‘flat’ character has no alternatives at all”—Elizabeth Bowen said in her essay on novel writing. But in life， death does not come with an alternative.
My only grasp of the situation—then as well as now—is to accept that James， like Vincent， chose death， and James， particularly， chose the same way to die as Vincent. Reality， which can be conveyed in many ways， is better spoken of in the most straightforward language.
Elizabeth listened to my proposed self-help book and replied that most people would throw it across the room before finishing page 1. People would not want to read a book about radical acceptance， Elizabeth said; they would rather not imagine themselves in situations that require the practice of radical acceptance.
So， dear readers: if a mother using the word “died” or “death” offends your sensibilities (a journalist from China featured my word choice in a profile of me， which led to disapproval among Chinese readers); if you believe that “love” is a magic word that will make everything all right (as did one of my readers， who confronted me on a book tour， asking me how I could have attempted suicide if I had ever loved my children); if you think I’ve erred by not putting my life in the loving hands of thy god (as an ex-friend of mine believes， telling me after Vincent’s death that he was sent by God and taken away by God so there was no reason for me to feel too sad); if you think suicide is too depressing a subject; if the fact that all things insoluble in life remain insoluble is too bleak for you; and if you prefer that radical acceptance remain a foreign concept to you， this is a good time for you to stop reading.
This book is about life’s extremities， about facts and logic， written from a particularly abysmal place where no parent would want to be. This book will neither ask the questions you may want me to ask nor provide the closure you may expect the book to offer.
I’ve always refused to use the word “grieving” and I’ve rarely used the word “mourning”—for reasons I shall explain later. This is not a book about grieving or mourning.
This book will not provide a neat narrative arc， which some readers may hanker for: from hardship to triumph， from incomprehension to newly gained perception and wisdom， from suffering to transcendence. This book will not provide the easy satisfaction of fulfillment， inspiration， and transformation.
I’ve in the past quoted Montaigne: “To philosophize is to learn to die.” And I now know there are other variations:
To philosophize is to learn to live with deaths.
To philosophize is to learn to live with those deaths until one dies.
To philosophize is what one can do while living in an abyss—not lostkaiyun体育app下载官网， but found.
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